Day after

Well as you can tell. I am still here. Sound body and mind. Yet I am at my ends wit again to see if it will happen in the morning. Sad part is that I work an different hours to most so it means that I will wake up alone and it's sad to say it. But it worries me like crazy. All I think about is what if. What if I wake up and something happens and that I can't get help of any sort. I'm alone. And will be for hours. Te phone will ring yet I might not be able to answer. Will they come to my house to see if I am here. Or just leave it because they just think I won't answer the phone as I may be busy. All this worry again over probably nothing. Yet it stresses the life out of me. It's almost 3:40am, it's dark in here as the curtains are drawn closed. Not because it looks better. I just can't stand the light to early. I find that if I wake to early it leads to me having and bad day of anxiousness. It can pass but it can also grow inside me. As I have said. I try to control it as best as I can. Fingers crossed I work it out and get another day. Another day that I try to get myself back to normality. But I hear what you say. Why is normality to us. Wake up, do 9 to 5, come home, eat, shower, watch soaps. To me it isn't. But to me I could opt for that choice for a while. Just to see if it really makes a difference. To some reading this will think that there are more important things in life. You're right. There is. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it. I just need to face my daemons to be able to move on to help to make a change in someones life. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. E